fill # 3

Finally!!!!!! RESTRICITION!!!!! I took three fills but I think I am there. After the dr filled, he made me take two big gulps of water and I felt the difference instantly!!!!! I have been dong the three days of liquid (on the second day) and I actually feel stuffed after I drink one protein shake. I never thought that would be possible. I did schedule another fill in four weeks just in case I think I need a little more. I am supposed to switch to mushies for three days after tomorrow but, HELLO, Valentine’s Day!!!!! We are going for dinner at a nice Italian restaurant. I will order fish and a soft veggie. For dessert (this is where it gets naughty) we are going to the melting pot for some dark chocolate fondue and perhaps a glass of bubbly (naught x2). I plan to take home most of my dinner and only have a few bits of fondue. I made some yummy soups for the time after and in between. Maybe I can lose 6 lbs before we go to Florida. We are going the first week of March. Wish me luck!!!

Realization

Ok, I have beat myself up enough. It does not help and it does not make me feel any better. The relization is that it has been 3 months since my banding and I need to get a grip and be real with myself! I had grand visions of where I would be at this point. Comparing myself to others, I created totaly unrealistic goals for myself. I have not even had my my thrid fill to bring me to "real" restricition. That dr appontment is the second week in feb. My doctor has explained time and time again that I will not feel restriciton until after my thrid fill. So I am going to relax and try to understand that I can not undo 30 years in 3 months. and that my goals need to be long term because this is for the rest of my life. I need to admit to myself and everyone else that I have not been doing all I can to help my progress along. I have not been making time to go to the gym. This is one I will continue to struggle with. Working full time and going to school full time and family time make me tired exhausted, I lose motivation very easily when this happens. I need to understand that this is not an all or nothing type of thing. That is the attitued I have toward all most everything else in my life. Even a walk here and there is better than nothing. I have felt like if I do not go to the gym 2-4 times a week, then its not going to make a difference. I know this is not the right attitued and I am going to try my best to work on this. Also, I have not made the best food choices. Those 100 cal snack packs are great...but not when you eat 2 to 3 of them. I need to focus on protein first and eat when I am hunger, not when it tastes good. This is the hardest thing for me. I  need to not drink with meals and I need to drink more water.
      So, I am going to weigh myself in the am. I am gong to make good food choices tomorrow and I am going to drink at least 80 oz of water and even if I do not feel like  going to the gym after work, I will walk for at least 20 min around my complex. Wish me luck!!!!!